inbox.

[tender]

action + written + crystal

Comments

[tender]

It's normal to want things. Right now you're even in a position to have them. You're working in the Forces office. That's an opportunity.

[ maybe. derrica doesn't know exactly how to handle flint, and it sounds like matthias doesn't either. ]

I would never feel sorry for you. Pity isn't...it's not helpful. But I think it's alright if you try to listen to people who can help you make things happen. You deserve to have what you want.

[inkindled]

Yeah. Maybe. I'll-- think about it. About asking.

[Also, after he gets in another breath and recovers one point more--]

Thanks. You're good at this. Sorry.

[tender]

Don't apologize. I'm sorry I didn't have better advice for you, but you can always talk to me. I promise.

[inkindled]

Yeah. Thanks. I will. I mean, I do. But I will, still.

[And because she sAID he could talk to her and because this is something else that he's been thinking about, and it is, sort of, related--]

D'you ever... think about what comes next? Once we've beaten Corypheus, and all, and the world gets back to normal?

[tender]

[ whoa this is a turn she wasn't expecting. ]

Yes. I think about it all the time, but I don't know. I'm not really sure what normal is going to look like by then.

[inkindled]

Yeah. That's true. I s'ppose it's stupid to think of, isn't it. If we don't know what anything will be like. It could be anything.

I was talking to this fellow, is all. And he said... he was going on about retirement. Like there was more after this. I never thought about it before. Going wherever I want and doing whatever I want. I'm with you. I don't see the point of thinking of any of it--especially not bloody retirement--not when we don't know what anything will be like.

I'd like it to be--nice. That's as far as I can get.

[tender]

I don't know what a retirement would be for me. It's been a very long time since I thought about it.

[ and then dairsmuid was destroyed, so. ]

I think we'll have to make it nice. Even after Corypheus is dealt with, there's going to be so much that will need to be restored. Maybe that's what we should think about, how we want it all to be after we've finished fighting a war.

[inkindled]

I just reckoned I'd die. I don't even mean it like--badly, just... I kept not dying. And every time, it was like, surely the next time I would.

[Maybe that was too much. Matthias bites hard on his lower lip, like that might shut him up.]

And even once Corypheus is gone, the other war--that's still there. It's none of it settled, not properly. I won't go back to the Circle. I know that. I don't much care about anything else. I could live in a sodding hole, just--not Circles.

[tender]

[ There is a quiet inhale on the other end of the crystal, a brief pause, and then— ]

I understand.

[ All of it. The shock of being alive in spite of everything, the weight of uncertainty hanging over all their heads now. ]

I promise, I would never leave you to be sent to a Circle again. No matter what happens.

[inkindled]

I wouldn't let me either. And I wouldn't let you be sent there, if they tried. And--

[No, there's no more to say. Matthias pulls his knees close to his chest and stares hard at the sending crystal until it blurs. Thickly, he manages--]

Thanks. You're on my side. I know it. I knew it before, too, before I contacted you and all, I only-- wanted to talk to someone about it.

Thanks.

[tender]

You don't need to thank me. It's what friends do for each other, isn't it? You can always talk to me, whenever you need.

[inkindled]

Yeah. Thanks.

And you, er-- you can do the same. If you need it. I dunno that you do. But if you do, yeah?

[tender]

If I do, I know where to find you.