Yeah. That's true. I s'ppose it's stupid to think of, isn't it. If we don't know what anything will be like. It could be anything.
I was talking to this fellow, is all. And he said... he was going on about retirement. Like there was more after this. I never thought about it before. Going wherever I want and doing whatever I want. I'm with you. I don't see the point of thinking of any of it--especially not bloody retirement--not when we don't know what anything will be like.
I'd like it to be--nice. That's as far as I can get.
I don't know what a retirement would be for me. It's been a very long time since I thought about it.
[ and then dairsmuid was destroyed, so. ]
I think we'll have to make it nice. Even after Corypheus is dealt with, there's going to be so much that will need to be restored. Maybe that's what we should think about, how we want it all to be after we've finished fighting a war.
I just reckoned I'd die. I don't even mean it like--badly, just... I kept not dying. And every time, it was like, surely the next time I would.
[Maybe that was too much. Matthias bites hard on his lower lip, like that might shut him up.]
And even once Corypheus is gone, the other war--that's still there. It's none of it settled, not properly. I won't go back to the Circle. I know that. I don't much care about anything else. I could live in a sodding hole, just--not Circles.
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I was talking to this fellow, is all. And he said... he was going on about retirement. Like there was more after this. I never thought about it before. Going wherever I want and doing whatever I want. I'm with you. I don't see the point of thinking of any of it--especially not bloody retirement--not when we don't know what anything will be like.
I'd like it to be--nice. That's as far as I can get.
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[ and then dairsmuid was destroyed, so. ]
I think we'll have to make it nice. Even after Corypheus is dealt with, there's going to be so much that will need to be restored. Maybe that's what we should think about, how we want it all to be after we've finished fighting a war.
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[Maybe that was too much. Matthias bites hard on his lower lip, like that might shut him up.]
And even once Corypheus is gone, the other war--that's still there. It's none of it settled, not properly. I won't go back to the Circle. I know that. I don't much care about anything else. I could live in a sodding hole, just--not Circles.
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I understand.
[ All of it. The shock of being alive in spite of everything, the weight of uncertainty hanging over all their heads now. ]
I promise, I would never leave you to be sent to a Circle again. No matter what happens.
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[No, there's no more to say. Matthias pulls his knees close to his chest and stares hard at the sending crystal until it blurs. Thickly, he manages--]
Thanks. You're on my side. I know it. I knew it before, too, before I contacted you and all, I only-- wanted to talk to someone about it.
Thanks.
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And you, er-- you can do the same. If you need it. I dunno that you do. But if you do, yeah?
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