[ The fact that it's hard to say right away, that Derrica hesitates—
Maybe it's lost on Matthias. But Derrica catches that spark of uncertainty in herself, pauses before continuing. ]
I don't know. But if he was, he wouldn't be alone. I think everyone had cause to be [ ashamed? ] unsettled. In one of those dreams we'd lost the war, and everyone was so...desperate.
[Well, maybe not exactly; that hadn't been exactly what Matthias was thinking. He is, now that Derrica has said it, and he will be thinking it after this as well. It gives some order to the less-than-clear thoughts that he had been thinking.]
I don't know why everyone's on about it like we weren't all desperate. They don't understand. I don't understand, even, but I'm not going to act like a prick about it. And if that is why Leander-- [Enchanter Leander, but he's said it already, it can't be taken back, overly familiar in his concern--] --if that's why he's gone off, then, [there's no way to finish that other than the weak,] I dunno!
[ He'd been alright before, and the world isn't as unsettled as it was. Or it's unsettled in a way that will be easier for Leander to navigate. The Exalted March will keep the biggest problems occupied. ]
And it might be better...I don't think anyone would try something, but I think people are worried. [ frightened ] Maybe he thought it would be best to leave until the memory of it all passed. I don't know if it's why. But you have to trust there's a reason, and you can decide whether or not it's good enough when he comes back.
[She would know, Matthias tells himself. Derrica would know, better than anyone, because she knows Leander--but also because she's wise, and she just knows things. He can trust her.]
Yeah.
[He will be all right. Matthias tells himself this, too, firmly. It won't be like anyone else who left and didn't come back, who died somewhere else, far from where Matthias might have been able to help. He might even come back. No, he will.
After a moment of quiet (a very short moment; Matthias can't stay quiet long)--]
If you ever, you know. Have to leave. Will you tell me? I won't try to stop you or anything. I'll-- I'd want to know. If that's all right.
I'll never leave without making sure you have a way to find me.
[ What an easy promise to make. It's not a small thing. There are so few people in this world that she's tied herself to. Matthias is one of them, one of the people she knows has been braided into the weave of her life. They'd find each other, if she left. ]
I promise, [ she vows, before letting a warmer, teasing note creep into her voice. ] I might even try to convince you to come with me, if I could get you onto a ship.
[His laugh is surprised, and has an underwater sound to it--a little choked, a little damp. Could just be the quality of crystal communication. Probably not that he almost cried.]
I'd just stay in the cabin and not look out any windows or go up on the deck. All that water, eurgh.
But if you asked, I'd go. [Blisteringly sincere. And so is,] Thanks.
[ I love you, Derrica doesn't say, because it feels too big of a sentiment to wedge between them. There's a little pause instead, where she just lets those words settle, feels them like waves slapping at the sides of a ship before saying— ]
You're a good friend to me, Matthias. [ is said with deep affection. ] If you'd like to come with me to Lowtown tonight, you'd be very welcome.
[That cheers Matthias a little, nearly as much as Derrica calling him a good friend. Is there any higher praise? But at her invitation, he truly perks up.]
If you really mean that, yeah. And I'll try not to get totally legless and embarrass you. I am better'n I used to be. Older, and all. You won't regret it. Thanks.
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no subject
Maybe it's lost on Matthias. But Derrica catches that spark of uncertainty in herself, pauses before continuing. ]
I don't know. But if he was, he wouldn't be alone. I think everyone had cause to be [ ashamed? ] unsettled. In one of those dreams we'd lost the war, and everyone was so...desperate.
[ Well, not everyone. Ergo the problem. ]
no subject
[Well, maybe not exactly; that hadn't been exactly what Matthias was thinking. He is, now that Derrica has said it, and he will be thinking it after this as well. It gives some order to the less-than-clear thoughts that he had been thinking.]
I don't know why everyone's on about it like we weren't all desperate. They don't understand. I don't understand, even, but I'm not going to act like a prick about it. And if that is why Leander-- [Enchanter Leander, but he's said it already, it can't be taken back, overly familiar in his concern--] --if that's why he's gone off, then, [there's no way to finish that other than the weak,] I dunno!
no subject
[ He'd been alright before, and the world isn't as unsettled as it was. Or it's unsettled in a way that will be easier for Leander to navigate. The Exalted March will keep the biggest problems occupied. ]
And it might be better...I don't think anyone would try something, but I think people are worried. [ frightened ] Maybe he thought it would be best to leave until the memory of it all passed. I don't know if it's why. But you have to trust there's a reason, and you can decide whether or not it's good enough when he comes back.
no subject
Yeah.
[He will be all right. Matthias tells himself this, too, firmly. It won't be like anyone else who left and didn't come back, who died somewhere else, far from where Matthias might have been able to help. He might even come back. No, he will.
After a moment of quiet (a very short moment; Matthias can't stay quiet long)--]
If you ever, you know. Have to leave. Will you tell me? I won't try to stop you or anything. I'll-- I'd want to know. If that's all right.
no subject
[ What an easy promise to make. It's not a small thing. There are so few people in this world that she's tied herself to. Matthias is one of them, one of the people she knows has been braided into the weave of her life. They'd find each other, if she left. ]
I promise, [ she vows, before letting a warmer, teasing note creep into her voice. ] I might even try to convince you to come with me, if I could get you onto a ship.
no subject
I'd just stay in the cabin and not look out any windows or go up on the deck. All that water, eurgh.
But if you asked, I'd go. [Blisteringly sincere. And so is,] Thanks.
stick a bow on this pls
You're a good friend to me, Matthias. [ is said with deep affection. ] If you'd like to come with me to Lowtown tonight, you'd be very welcome.
a beautiful bow
[That cheers Matthias a little, nearly as much as Derrica calling him a good friend. Is there any higher praise? But at her invitation, he truly perks up.]
If you really mean that, yeah. And I'll try not to get totally legless and embarrass you. I am better'n I used to be. Older, and all. You won't regret it. Thanks.