[ She hesitates, trying to think of anything besides the ballroom and the dance - ]
He told me I have finesse. [ It wasn't the hideous kind of flirting she's familiar with, but his face had been red at the cheeks. He had looked as though he meant it. ] We do not touch frequently. But he smiles.
[ But he smiles at everyone, surely. She's starting to regret asking, when the evidence sounds so flimsy spoken aloud. ]
[This seems like a safe question to answer. Talking about him feels overwhelmingly safer than talking about herself; there's a sort of relief to it, between talking about Matthias and using the claws, that makes every other sensation recede.]
Yes. [Hesitantly, after a moment:] He is kind to everyone. If he is not arguing with them.
[ if derrica could reach through the crystal to take laura's hands, she would do that now and squeeze them tightly. this isn't exactly the same as the giddy murmurs she'd shared back in dairsmuid, listing all the best things about the objects of their attentions, confessing optimistic plans. this is something more fraught, but the bones of it are familiar to her. ]
Those are the best ones to be with.
[ a little ruefully. ]
You should talk to him. You don't have to tell him anything, but you should know how he feels. It's worth it, Laura. I promise.
[ Laura, at least, is glad for the distance. The idea of anyone touching her right now is abhorrent. But she is grateful...mostly...for Derrica's kindness.
Even when the advice sounds impossible. He answer is low, embarrassed. ]
[There's a stiffness there she does not mean toward Derrica, born of the idea of saying any of this to Matthias. If he does not laugh at her - and he might - his answer, once spoken, will be inescapable.
She does not know how to feel about that. But she is glad she is alone right now.]
Asking him if he could speak with you alone first would be best. You should speak with him in person. Then just...
[ considers saying "go with your gut feeling" and then thinks better of it ]
Tell him you care for him. You can say exactly what you've said to me, and he'll say how he feels in return. It's not as scary as you think it is. He's kind. He'll make it easy for you.
[She considers it, then decides against it, in little more than the span of a breath. Tell him you care for him is an impossible suggestion, particularly when there is no guarantee that Matthias will answer in kind; at the best of times, words are not her strong suit. And this would not be the best of times.
He is kind. He might make it easy for her. But the possibility that it might not be still looms behind Derrica's urging.]
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[ Otherwise they would never have had to talk about this and she would have lived in gladness for the rest of he life. ]
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[ well, that makes sense. ]
Are they flirting with you? Do they find excuses to touch your hand or your shoulder?
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He told me I have finesse. [ It wasn't the hideous kind of flirting she's familiar with, but his face had been red at the cheeks. He had looked as though he meant it. ] We do not touch frequently. But he smiles.
[ But he smiles at everyone, surely. She's starting to regret asking, when the evidence sounds so flimsy spoken aloud. ]
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Do you want him to have a crush on you?
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Silent, grave, she replies in a soft voice:]
...I do not wish to answer that.
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[ which derrica thinks laura does, even if she isn't saying. ]
You can feel it in your chest when you think of them. It's a good feeling, I promise.
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[Doubtful. She's quiet for a time.]
I do not like it.
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[Look, as long as you don't ask what she's doing on the other side of that crystal then it's totally fine. She's definitely okay.]
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It goes away, sometimes. But it can turn into something better, you know, if he's feeling the same thing.
[ a big if ]
Is he nice?
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Yes. [Hesitantly, after a moment:] He is kind to everyone. If he is not arguing with them.
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Those are the best ones to be with.
[ a little ruefully. ]
You should talk to him. You don't have to tell him anything, but you should know how he feels. It's worth it, Laura. I promise.
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Even when the advice sounds impossible. He answer is low, embarrassed. ]
I would not know what to say.
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[Bafflement.]
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[ hm ]
Gently.
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[There's a stiffness there she does not mean toward Derrica, born of the idea of saying any of this to Matthias. If he does not laugh at her - and he might - his answer, once spoken, will be inescapable.
She does not know how to feel about that. But she is glad she is alone right now.]
What would be gentle?
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[ considers saying "go with your gut feeling" and then thinks better of it ]
Tell him you care for him. You can say exactly what you've said to me, and he'll say how he feels in return. It's not as scary as you think it is. He's kind. He'll make it easy for you.
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He is kind. He might make it easy for her. But the possibility that it might not be still looms behind Derrica's urging.]
Maybe.
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[ derrica knows a no in disguise when she hears one ]
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I will think about asking him.
[Not, necessarily, about confessing.]
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[It might take weeks, and she might not state that's why, but...]